Fantastic Find
by Dr.E. Vance
Summary: Prince George has discovered something truly fantastic... unfortunately it turns out people know about it already.


**Disclaimer: I, disappointingly, own no one and nothing from Blackadder. Simply said. **

"Blackadder! Blackadder! Come quickly!" Prince George, still in pajamas, called frantically for his butler as he stood in his quarters, holding a glass of wine. Blackadder took his time in entering and, upon seeing there was no immediate danger, rolled his eyes.

"I suppose you have a reason for waking me up… at three in the morning?"

"I do! A truly fantastic discovery, if I may say so myself!" the Prince smiled delightfully and tried to clap his hands together, finally realizing there was something in his hand already.

"Well, if you think this discovery is so fantastic, that must mean it is the most pointless discovery in all time. Let me guess… you've figured out that the two tiny specks in your head are actually brain cells, and now you're stumped on how they are actually used." Blackadder suggested, raising an eyebrow. The Prince looked thoughtful for a second before smiling again.

"Not at 'tall, Blackadder! I have instead figured out that, if you hold your nose closed and drink something, you taste nothing! Isn't that marvelous!"

"No, you know what marvelous would be? Marvelous would be this being the last time you woke me up at three in the morning to end up telling me something people have known for thousands of years!" Blackadder exclaimed, sneering at the ignorant prince.

"Oh… alright then." Prince George paused. "They knew already? I've never heard it mentioned before." He furrowed his brow. Blackadder took a deep breath in and closed his eyes a moment. He considered responding, but instead walked out in a huff. Prince George shrugged and pinched his nose closed, downing his glass of wine. "Fantastic! Absolutely nothing!"

(-------------)

The next morning, Blackadder stumbled down into the kitchen, only to be greeted by Baldrick, stirring a vat of something absolutely foul smelling.

"Baldrick, I'm almost afraid to even ponder what the contents of that vat could be and I am hoping that I may be wrong in assuming what it's for."

"It's breakfast, sir."

"Who's? The pigs at the farm down the street? Yours, perhaps?"

"You, of course, sir. Can't be for the pigs, we ate them last week." Baldrick confirmed, giving the vat another big stir.

"Why can't you ever lie to me Baldrick? Or is your hollow head so full of dirt and mold that it can no longer retain anything else than to remember to breath every now and then?" Blackadder slumped into a wooden chair, letting out a large yawn.

"What's the matter sir?" Baldrick abandoned his vat and dried his hands on a rag thrown lazily on a table. Blackadder stared at Baldrick's hands.

"It's amazing. When you dried your hands on that rag, they actually came out dirtier than they were before." He paused to yawn again. "It's nothing Baldrick. The Prince woke me at three this morning again to share another one of his amazing discoveries."

"You mean the one where you hold your nose and don't taste anything?"

"Exactly. And it's…"

"Brilliant?" Baldrick offered and went to check to slop in the vat again and nodded approvingly.

"Not even close. It seems as if I'm cursed with working for, and with as well, people who will never know the actual purpose of a brain."

"You've said I've got a bigger one than the Prince's." Baldrick argued.

"Which, my dear Baldrick, only means you have three brain cells instead of two."

The bell rang for Blackadder before Baldrick had a chance to respond, and Blackadder hurried into the Prince's quarters once again.

"What is it now?"

"Another amazing discovery, for sure, Blackadder!" Prince George hopped up from his bed and shoved a ball in his butler's face.

"Please don't tell me you've found out the thing is, in fact, a ball. Or worse, round."

"You'll never believe it but…" the Prince dropped the ball to the floor where it landed with a thud and rolled a few inches before stopping. "… well, it bounced before." The Prince frowned.

"Oh my…." Blackadder put his face in hands and let out a big sigh.

"Well, at least I didn't wake you at three in the morning, right?"

"No, you just pulled me away at any chance at breakfast to show me the amazing discovery that a ball does not, in anyway, bounce."

"Sure thing. And it's good to know."

"I don't even want to know nor fathom why." Blackadder rubbed his temple with irritation and stared up at the Prince. "But I see your going to tell me anyway, aren't you? Well, this should occupy a few hours."

**-.FIN.-**

**Note: not one of my best works, because I was trying too hard to make this short so it doesn't develop into another chapter story that never gets finished. **


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